On Dad...
What a difference a few weeks makes. I’ve been too long on hiatus…I guess, so obvious bloggish duties have been completely ignored. Let’s just say a perfect storm of work, finding new work, taking online classes and yet further work has been my life’s story for a bit.
A number of things have passed me by that were worthy of a post. The most significant of those was certainly Father’s Day. This being my first Father’s Day, it was particularly special. Now I no longer get pseudo-cards from our dog. I get the real deal…and that is cool to an epic degree. It is also totally terrifying as I further come to grips of being a father.
However, I have been completely lucky in my life that all I really need to know about fatherhood I truly could learn from my own Dad. I’m no psychologist, or sociologist, but I really do believe that there is something to the theories that in life, a son really does need a solid father figure. There are many boys out there who do not have this for one reason or another, and I believe that those boys go through life really missing something that only a father can provide.
…and I have never, not for one day, had to worry about that. Much of who I am morally…but also personality wise, comes from what I learned from my father. He is without a doubt the person I look to when I define what being a man is about. As I have become a father, even to a daughter, I have often found myself wondering what characteristics K-Mad will associate with me as she grows up. What impressions will I make on her? What will she learn from me about what to look for (or not look for as it may be) in a male when she looks to get married one day?
I hope that she thinks that I have a fraction of the character that my Dad does. I cannot pay enough tribute to what he has done for me in my lifetime. Not once has he ever let me down. Not once. Do you know how priceless that is? Yes, I know he is human and I have seen him make mistakes, but they were never about things that really counted.
He is honest. I’ve never heard him tell a lie. Seriously. Never. I don’t think anyone who knows him would tell you that they didn’t feel like they got the truth from his answers. That’s integrity that has become more and more rare. It’s the kind of integrity that I’ve learned to try and emulate (failing miserably most of the time) and certainly surround myself with in my friendships…particularly with other males.
He honestly cares about those around him. My father is not one to talk anyone’s ear off. He is largely the silent type, but he is not mute. He knows the power of healing words of kindness and respect for others. I know a long list of people who would say that with very few words, he was able to meet a need they had.
He always listened to me as I grew up. I knew he wanted to see me succeed. I knew that he’d rather be at one of my soccer games that anywhere else on a Saturday morning. He was a disciplinarian, which I am so thankful for. The discipline he provided in my younger years gave me the understanding I needed in my teenage years to make good decisions and to know that he was there for me. I come from a spanking family as a mode of punishment. I can remember getting spanked by my father, but never for the pain it caused (which I can’t remember any of), but because it seemed to hurt Dad more than it hurt me. I learned quickly to fear Dad’s disappointment rather than his hand. That was the lesson, and he taught it well.
His version of masculinity is not the squishy kind that you particularly find that today’s Church demands of its Christian men. Nor is it the bravado that thumps its chest. It’s the best of both worlds. Always show you care, always look out for others. Loving others is the first order of business. If a bully hits you on one cheek, turn the other one. But while he’s in mid swing, quickly duck and put your fist firmly in his nose. Hopefully his own blood and blurred vision will make him think twice.
Above all, I think what I admire about my Dad is inner strength and his faith. He has not had a totally easy life. There have been many hardships. I know that the loss of his oldest sister at a fairly young age really tore him up. The ordeals his own daughter has gone through in a disease he cannot defeat himself, nor does he understand also hurts him more than he’ll let on. But he perseveres and has never doubted God through any of it. That is a lesson that I am still learning from him.
I’m thankful every day for being a person who does not have that hole in his life. We all suffer from something or another. But there are some who get a leg up simply because of who their parents are, and I can say that I am definitely one of those people.
Thanks Dad…And again, Happy Birthday.
A number of things have passed me by that were worthy of a post. The most significant of those was certainly Father’s Day. This being my first Father’s Day, it was particularly special. Now I no longer get pseudo-cards from our dog. I get the real deal…and that is cool to an epic degree. It is also totally terrifying as I further come to grips of being a father.
However, I have been completely lucky in my life that all I really need to know about fatherhood I truly could learn from my own Dad. I’m no psychologist, or sociologist, but I really do believe that there is something to the theories that in life, a son really does need a solid father figure. There are many boys out there who do not have this for one reason or another, and I believe that those boys go through life really missing something that only a father can provide.
…and I have never, not for one day, had to worry about that. Much of who I am morally…but also personality wise, comes from what I learned from my father. He is without a doubt the person I look to when I define what being a man is about. As I have become a father, even to a daughter, I have often found myself wondering what characteristics K-Mad will associate with me as she grows up. What impressions will I make on her? What will she learn from me about what to look for (or not look for as it may be) in a male when she looks to get married one day?
I hope that she thinks that I have a fraction of the character that my Dad does. I cannot pay enough tribute to what he has done for me in my lifetime. Not once has he ever let me down. Not once. Do you know how priceless that is? Yes, I know he is human and I have seen him make mistakes, but they were never about things that really counted.
He is honest. I’ve never heard him tell a lie. Seriously. Never. I don’t think anyone who knows him would tell you that they didn’t feel like they got the truth from his answers. That’s integrity that has become more and more rare. It’s the kind of integrity that I’ve learned to try and emulate (failing miserably most of the time) and certainly surround myself with in my friendships…particularly with other males.
He honestly cares about those around him. My father is not one to talk anyone’s ear off. He is largely the silent type, but he is not mute. He knows the power of healing words of kindness and respect for others. I know a long list of people who would say that with very few words, he was able to meet a need they had.
He always listened to me as I grew up. I knew he wanted to see me succeed. I knew that he’d rather be at one of my soccer games that anywhere else on a Saturday morning. He was a disciplinarian, which I am so thankful for. The discipline he provided in my younger years gave me the understanding I needed in my teenage years to make good decisions and to know that he was there for me. I come from a spanking family as a mode of punishment. I can remember getting spanked by my father, but never for the pain it caused (which I can’t remember any of), but because it seemed to hurt Dad more than it hurt me. I learned quickly to fear Dad’s disappointment rather than his hand. That was the lesson, and he taught it well.
His version of masculinity is not the squishy kind that you particularly find that today’s Church demands of its Christian men. Nor is it the bravado that thumps its chest. It’s the best of both worlds. Always show you care, always look out for others. Loving others is the first order of business. If a bully hits you on one cheek, turn the other one. But while he’s in mid swing, quickly duck and put your fist firmly in his nose. Hopefully his own blood and blurred vision will make him think twice.
Above all, I think what I admire about my Dad is inner strength and his faith. He has not had a totally easy life. There have been many hardships. I know that the loss of his oldest sister at a fairly young age really tore him up. The ordeals his own daughter has gone through in a disease he cannot defeat himself, nor does he understand also hurts him more than he’ll let on. But he perseveres and has never doubted God through any of it. That is a lesson that I am still learning from him.
I’m thankful every day for being a person who does not have that hole in his life. We all suffer from something or another. But there are some who get a leg up simply because of who their parents are, and I can say that I am definitely one of those people.
Thanks Dad…And again, Happy Birthday.
posted by Beeley at 10:44 AM
3 comments
