On Number 2...But Not That Kind

From out of the ashes comes….well, more ashes. The ashes of my mind. Odes to Mental Midgetry is back baby…and hopefully not for a limited time offering. To what do we owe this honor? What can entice me back into the nether world of the net? No, it’s not World of Warcraft, although I have plenty of bad influences trying to get me back on that smack. No, we here at the Halls of Mental Midgetry are expanding….and painting…but mostly just expanding. And while I do mean in the waistline, I also mean in the area of family. Now, I’m not telling anyone here anything new. Chances are that if you read…or used to read to put a more direct point on it…this blog, you already know that a new child is nigh. Nigh in December that is…

Oh, but what is news is that we had the all important 20 week sonogram today. The one that seems a little like Christmas. Well, I guess only if you like to find out what the sex of the child is. If you are one of those that doesn’t, let’s just say you’d have no place in this family because we have to know…for planning purposes…and by planning purposes I really just mean so we can have the appropriate paint color on the walls. That is really what it boils down to…paint.

So, this time out we are pretty much veterans…since we’ve already done this once. That actually makes us experts. However, unlike last time…actually like last time, but a little different, K-Mad is joining us. Her only real request is that the baby be red. We assure her that it will likely be us colored. And if it is not, well, that will present mommy and daddy with some other major league issues. So, with that request shot down, she just wants to see the baby’s red thumb. Not sure what that means, but okay, we’ll try and accommodate that.

With mom firmly planted on the bed, the…uh, nurse? lady puts the blue goop all over my wife’s stomach. I can tell K-Mad wants to get in on that action. Truth be told, so do I…but I’m assured that this experience is like Secret. Strong enough for a man, but only made for a woman. Unless you are that dude in Oregon who…was actually still a woman for Pete’s sake (or Pete’s Steak as K-Mad says)! But I digress…

I find sonograms amazing. I mean, looking on the inside of someone, but without all the horror movie elements is kind of…sweet. K-Mad is fascinated too for like 20 seconds which is pretty good for a two year old. And there “it” is…floating around inside my wife with legs and arms all over the place. There’s the head. That’s cool…need that kinda. I ask about the six fingers or toes…but “it” only has five on all appendages. Pity, I really think six would be useful. Spine looks good. Brain actually gets a “great” from the nurse. Well, another child taking after mom…which I suppose is a good thing. I ask if "it" will have mind reading capabilities. I think i is a legitimate question...especially in the teenage years. The nurse does not, however. Moving on, the heart appears to have all its moving parts...another plus. I look for a second heart...or set of internal organs like Klingons do in Star Trek. Now that would be useful. No dice there either. I guess normal is good though.

Finally the moment of truth arrives. Do we want to know the sex? Lady, look at this woman, this is not a “wait and see” woman. Hello, paint color…remember? So, it turns out that we are going to have…a lot more pink in the house. Baby two is another chica, and I could not be more thrilled. See, when my wife and I were talking about children back in the day, we swore we were probably boy parents. However, with K-Mad, I don’t know what I’d do with a son. I mean, I’ve been feminized… I think that is obvious by this point. Where I used to be a soulless robot…now I’m just a robot. I’m making progress yo. But I’m also meeting with an architect and an interior design specialist tomorrow to start planning out the Man Room. Oh, it will be mine…it will be. And so will a second daughter!