On The Audacity of Health...
Audacity indeed. When I was about 10 years old…and even when I was a teenager in high school and I supposedly knew better, I believed that a person was near death when they reached their 30’s. To me, there was always the possibility that I might lose one or both parents to old age since…well, they were always old age. Today, I’m literally in wonder that they are just turning 60, which is now, to my thinking…still frickin’ old, but not so imminently detrimental to their lives.
What bothers me though is that apparently 33 is when the body starts to fall apart…and I mean completely. And worse is that apparently my contemporaries are not having the same issues. I find this to be no fair, and just a little rude on their part…on your part. Just because Tylenol is not one of your four major food groups does not make you a better person. Here is a little bit of my day today:
Me: Well, I just came off of three weeks of antibiotics. I’m also on Nexium, and 80mg of Lipitor.
NP: 80mg of Lipitor!? But you are so young…
Me: Yeah sister, tell me about it…
(Later in the exam)
NP: Well, I’m not sure what is up. So let’s get more labs for Lyme’s Disease, Mono, Chronic Fatigue…and your being ridiculously good looking (okay, I made that last part up…there is no cure for that).
Me: Sweet. (Meaning: not so sweet)
NP: Do you have any other questions for me?
Me: Yes, WHISKEY, TANGO, FOXTROT…
Me: You mean you don’t remember me. You frakkin’ took blood from me on Tuesday..of this week.
Tech: Really. Sorry to hear that.
Me: Yeah, me too.
Now, I know it may seem like I’m complaining right now…okay, maybe a little more than seem, but I’m really just frustrated. Like most men, I’m a total wheenie when it comes to not feeling well. I mean, bruises and cuts are not big deal, especially when obtained doing something manly…and hairy. But blood in the urine…that crap ain’t right, or appreciated. Now don’t get me wrong, I was pretty pleased that I got to utilize some cool technology with not one, but two CT scans. And playing with the wheelchair in an empty hallway, while wearing the cool “gown of butt showingness” was also pretty rad… But getting a prostate exam in front of my dad…um…yeah…was not…rad.
In reality, these tests really are proving that I’m not really that sick, or at least not with anything major…hopefully. Lyme’s disease would not be really high on the list of things to have. But ruling out worse stuff is good. Really, when thinking about expanding my family in December, and laying around for weeks while my daughter runs around me, is not my idea of where I wanted to be in my 30’s. I know in the end this will turn out to be nothing but an annoying case of sinusitis or something completely treatable, but seriously, right now I should be in a gym working out…or at least thinking about it…
And friends, thus endeth my rant….didn’t you miss them. I believe many of you asked for them in fact...maybe you're the one with the issues...
posted by Beeley at 3:43 PM
2 Comments:
I'm hardly able to muster the strength to sit at this desk and bang out the letters on the keyboard. But lo, I must suck it up and persevere.
I thought the fatigue was associated with the "about to be decrepit" age (I still have the B'Day message on voice mail) acquired by my body. But no! The fatigue is more likely from the 4,500 meters I just did in about 21 min. on the erg (or was it a 5,000 - perhaps the memory is going, too).
As for the prostate exam...the street goes both ways. Not my idea of a fun movie on a Sunday evening. On the other hand, maybe there was some payback to be enjoyed, with a little help from a doctor. Couldn't watch the video, but the audio was quite interesting!
However, the best part was knowing that my boy was okay, at least in that area. Now let's get the real problem fixed so I can be at ease.
Wait a minute! I haven't turned 60 yet. I have an entire (almost) year left in my 50s. Let's not rush things. Let's have a competition to see whose cholesterol is the lowest next year about this time. I need some motivation!
Also - I'm so thankful that Dad was the one to take you to the ER that night. Remember I had planned to do it originally. Don't think I would have been around for that exam though!
Love you - hope you start feeling better soon!
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