On Green Thumbs and Index Fingers...
One of the nice things about living in Northern Virginia…and to be sure, sometimes it seems like there is not exactly a glut of “nice things”…is that we do tend to get all of the four seasons. That is not to say that the weather here doesn’t behave strangely, or sometimes even just flat out badly. Frankly, I’m not sure two seasons have ever been the same in consecutive years. We might have a frozen tundra of a Winter one year, followed by 70 degree days in the middle of January the next. Spring and Autumn are particularly unpredictable. Sometimes they behave “normally” but other times these seasons can be indistinguishable from the Summer or Winter.
However, Spring has definitely arrived here. So far, it appears we are having a normal, if only slightly dry season. Well, dry until this past weekend that is. The trees are in bloom and are driving my sinuses crazy. There is a nice lime green sheen covering my car every morning and I’m enjoying the fits of sneezing it induces…sometimes to the 9th power.
Spring means manual labor though. As you might imagine, manual labor…and indeed any labor…is not conducive to my Netflix habit, nor my virtual World of Warcraft existence. Plus, this labor tends to be under the sun. The sun is a particular nemesis of mine who has burned me on many an occasion. I’m not Gollum, but the sun isn’t exactly my precious either. Let’s just say that I appreciate its key role in supporting life on earth…but I’m not going to send it any thank you notes to that affect.
Surprisingly though, I learned that I actually like the manual labor involved with yard work. Despite being heavily annoyed by grass pollen, one of my chores growing up was mowing the lawn. I decided then and there that mowing lawns was not something I wanted to do for a living…but that it could actually be quite pleasant at times. Still, mowing and the raking of leaves were about the extent of my yard working abilities. I think I may have watered a plant or two at the behest of my mother, but I was no green thumb by any stretch.
After college, my living arrangements were all in apartments. There was no mowing or raking…or a even lawn for that matter. The extend of my yard work was going out onto the balcony and sweeping off any leaves that may have collected there…and let’s be honest…I didn’t even do that. My skin was going an even pastier shade of…uh…pasty. That was okay though, I looked good in ultra-white.
When my wife and I bought our townhouse, it wasn’t exactly like my yard work chores suddenly increased dramatically. Even though we have an end unit, that just means we have about eight square feet of lawn rather than four. It takes me about 15 minutes to mow the lawn…20 if I edge. Raking is another matter. It still doesn’t take long, but the patch of woods we have next to our house assures that any raking is for naught. The trees produce more…they always produce more.
Last year though was a crowning achievement for my wife and I. After we put in a deck in the back yard, our lawn was even less…expansive. So we decided we would try and put in two flower gardens. This was quite and undertaking. Both of us were complete novices to the art of planting bushes and flowers. But we had high hopes and a totally unrealistic budget to fuel our desires…and so we set to work. The first step was to turn the mud pits that had developed into garden beds. Top soil and I became well acquainted friends. I believe a third world country out there is missing all of its soil, because I walked bag after bag from my car to the backyard. It was probably only like 15 bags…but when you are a weakling, that feels like you’ve really accomplished something. We even purchased stones to make the walls around the garden. Finally, we went to the local “overpriced and only for suckers who don’t realize you can get the same thing for cheaper at Home Depot” nursery and spent an arm and a leg on plants and flowers…
…that were all annuals. If you don’t know, annuals are not plants that come back. The word annual in fact means that should you decide to go this course with your garden, you’ll spend this ungodly amount every year. Apparently what we should have looked for were perennials. Needless to say, we are starting from square one this year, and we won’t make that mistake again. But we had one cool looking garden last year.
This year is going to be as busy as last. Thanks to our phone and cable companies putting in new lines, we have large patches of our lawn that are in need of repair. This weekend I got some topsoil and filled in the uneven ground that had been created when the new fiber optic line was put into my house. Then I re-seeded much of the lawn. I don’t have one of those nifty seed and fertilizer carts, so I did it all by hand…assuring the most sporadic coverage possible. We’ll see if this works. My lawn looks like a disaster right now, but at least I’m committed do putting some effort into it…and it’s kind of fun. Just don’t tell my wife I said that.
Oh, and to bring this story to a dramatic close, the bushes we have in the front of the house have really grown unwieldy the past few weeks. So I decided it was time to trim them back. Apparently I also thought that ten fingers were too much to keep track of. So I did my best to take off one of them with the trimmer. Okay, so in reality it was really only about three stitches worth of repair, but I am now typing this message to you with my left index finger enveloped in gauze.
And I’m going to need that index finger for when Kaleigh grows up and starts smarting off. How am I supposed to point to her room and her impending confinement to it without my pointer finger? It’s not like you can use your pinky…
However, Spring has definitely arrived here. So far, it appears we are having a normal, if only slightly dry season. Well, dry until this past weekend that is. The trees are in bloom and are driving my sinuses crazy. There is a nice lime green sheen covering my car every morning and I’m enjoying the fits of sneezing it induces…sometimes to the 9th power.
Spring means manual labor though. As you might imagine, manual labor…and indeed any labor…is not conducive to my Netflix habit, nor my virtual World of Warcraft existence. Plus, this labor tends to be under the sun. The sun is a particular nemesis of mine who has burned me on many an occasion. I’m not Gollum, but the sun isn’t exactly my precious either. Let’s just say that I appreciate its key role in supporting life on earth…but I’m not going to send it any thank you notes to that affect.
Surprisingly though, I learned that I actually like the manual labor involved with yard work. Despite being heavily annoyed by grass pollen, one of my chores growing up was mowing the lawn. I decided then and there that mowing lawns was not something I wanted to do for a living…but that it could actually be quite pleasant at times. Still, mowing and the raking of leaves were about the extent of my yard working abilities. I think I may have watered a plant or two at the behest of my mother, but I was no green thumb by any stretch.
After college, my living arrangements were all in apartments. There was no mowing or raking…or a even lawn for that matter. The extend of my yard work was going out onto the balcony and sweeping off any leaves that may have collected there…and let’s be honest…I didn’t even do that. My skin was going an even pastier shade of…uh…pasty. That was okay though, I looked good in ultra-white.
When my wife and I bought our townhouse, it wasn’t exactly like my yard work chores suddenly increased dramatically. Even though we have an end unit, that just means we have about eight square feet of lawn rather than four. It takes me about 15 minutes to mow the lawn…20 if I edge. Raking is another matter. It still doesn’t take long, but the patch of woods we have next to our house assures that any raking is for naught. The trees produce more…they always produce more.
Last year though was a crowning achievement for my wife and I. After we put in a deck in the back yard, our lawn was even less…expansive. So we decided we would try and put in two flower gardens. This was quite and undertaking. Both of us were complete novices to the art of planting bushes and flowers. But we had high hopes and a totally unrealistic budget to fuel our desires…and so we set to work. The first step was to turn the mud pits that had developed into garden beds. Top soil and I became well acquainted friends. I believe a third world country out there is missing all of its soil, because I walked bag after bag from my car to the backyard. It was probably only like 15 bags…but when you are a weakling, that feels like you’ve really accomplished something. We even purchased stones to make the walls around the garden. Finally, we went to the local “overpriced and only for suckers who don’t realize you can get the same thing for cheaper at Home Depot” nursery and spent an arm and a leg on plants and flowers…
…that were all annuals. If you don’t know, annuals are not plants that come back. The word annual in fact means that should you decide to go this course with your garden, you’ll spend this ungodly amount every year. Apparently what we should have looked for were perennials. Needless to say, we are starting from square one this year, and we won’t make that mistake again. But we had one cool looking garden last year.
This year is going to be as busy as last. Thanks to our phone and cable companies putting in new lines, we have large patches of our lawn that are in need of repair. This weekend I got some topsoil and filled in the uneven ground that had been created when the new fiber optic line was put into my house. Then I re-seeded much of the lawn. I don’t have one of those nifty seed and fertilizer carts, so I did it all by hand…assuring the most sporadic coverage possible. We’ll see if this works. My lawn looks like a disaster right now, but at least I’m committed do putting some effort into it…and it’s kind of fun. Just don’t tell my wife I said that.
Oh, and to bring this story to a dramatic close, the bushes we have in the front of the house have really grown unwieldy the past few weeks. So I decided it was time to trim them back. Apparently I also thought that ten fingers were too much to keep track of. So I did my best to take off one of them with the trimmer. Okay, so in reality it was really only about three stitches worth of repair, but I am now typing this message to you with my left index finger enveloped in gauze.
And I’m going to need that index finger for when Kaleigh grows up and starts smarting off. How am I supposed to point to her room and her impending confinement to it without my pointer finger? It’s not like you can use your pinky…
posted by Beeley at 11:26 AM
3 Comments:
Oh Beeley. God Bless Beeley IV and family.
By the way, plant daylillies for summer color. Daffodils and tulips for spring color. They will all be back and more next year. Easy clean up too.
Take care and send more pictures.
LISTEN to what Mrs. PK says! She KNOWS the truth. OH Beeley, first the wreck , now the pointer finger. HOpe that's it for mishaps this year. How can you effectively "patriarch" without your pointer finger?
I know what you mean about the yard work. Last JUly when temps were only around 115 in the daytime I decided to take a stab at it myself. It wasn't bad. And the Uncle from Northern SC was especially thrilled...only now I'm helping "put in" the garden this weekend...YIKES! Go slow Beeley, yardwork can begin to reel you in. It never stops! Like the mail....
Your loving Aunt
Man, Beeley, I know what you mean. I had to go to the beach all weekend, surf, and occasionally talk to people. It was sooooo very stressful. Especially on the second day of doing the same.
Actually, I put 1200lbs of dirt on my front yard a couple of weeks ago, planted a couple of azaleas, and made a little path from the sidewalk to the hose so I can wash off my feet and go into the house without being beaten about by Mrs. PK for bringing sand into her house. Oh, I also did the first mowing, and reapplied weed and feed. And raked up 9 bags of leaves and junk, which doesn't seem like that much until you count in the 13 from a couple of weeks before. If you have a Live Oak, you learn to hate them. First, they suck up all the nutrients in your yard, so your grass dies. Then they drop leaves on you twice a year...which in reality means the drop leaves continuously from Jan-Jun, then again from Jul-Dec. It's just a treat of treats.
The reason you like yardwork is that there is something actually manly about it. Our earliest ancestors realized this as soon as they discovered the value of yard art. Of course, they probably didn't have gnomes or pink flamingos, but probably more like rocks that were different in some way from all the other rocks. Either way, I think it was yardwork that actually put an end to the "nomad" age. Sure, there are nomads in the desert still...and they still have no yards. I think the earliest yardwork conversation probably went something like this:
Thag: "Clunk, tonga, phoomp, phoomp, walla walla, rock."
Clunk: "Mmmm-hmmm. phoomp, walla, rock, phoomp. Phoomp, phoomp".
Thag: "Phoomp".
Which, as we all knows, means, "Hello, my good man Clunk. At the behest of my wife I've begun a new yard art project. Of course, I decided this valley area shall be my yard. I have decided that this rock, shaped much like a Pterodactyl if you look at it from the right angle will be a great centerpiece. It looks good." "Well, yes, my good man. You have a real eye for this thing. I was thinking of cutting my grass with my new "Cow-4000BC". Here, take a look at this baby, its got 4 stomachs for maximum bagging and superior teeth for grass mashing. It wasn't easy to come by, but a little water every now and then and it practically takes care of itself. Seems to leak this white stuff every now and then, but if I turn it loose in the yard, it mows AND fertilizes all day long. By the way, nice rock." "Thanks. A Cow-4000BC, eh?. Me likey."
Caveman language was a very efficient language.
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