On Inoculations....

Have I really neglected my bloggish duties for over two full weeks? Did I really leave up a post about my obsession with a video game as my last public offering? I am truly ashamed of myself… Okay, I’m really not, but I figured I offer you some note of contrition…even if it is clearly forged. I will lay the blame squarely on my job though. I remember, vaguely, a conversation we had about my job being feast or famine. Let’s just say I’ve been eating well lately. Let’s also just say that I’d appreciate a little forewarning from my bosses when they are expecting me to actually produce. And while we are saying so much, let’s all agree that Stacy Keibler was totally shafted in Dancing With The Stars.

I feel like there is so much to say to you. I hope I’m not being awkward, but I’ve actually missed you these past few days. Not to the level that I miss the A-Team, but you are way ahead of Jimmy Carter’s presidency if you must know. Okay, so I was barely alive during Carter’s reign…but I’ve heard…things. I just don’t want you to think that I’m apathetic to our burgeoning electro-literary relationship…At least not more apathetic that usual.

So it took a particularly jarring emotional incident to remind me that I actually do have a venue to vent my parenting…angst. Today, as many of you will note, is K-Mad’s two month birthday. The fact that she has made it two months under my jurisdiction is an accomplishment worthy of accolades…and a pay raise I’m thinking…or maybe just a big screen TV? Don’t just do it for me, Kaleigh needs to watch Baby Einstein videos on the largest screen possible…so it permeates. I think she would like a kickin’ surround sound system too…for those sing-alongs…it makes her feel like she’s part of a group…

But I digress…

We here in the Unites States celebrate two months of life on earth by stabbing our infants with sharp objects in the name of inoculation. I’m not sure when it is that my heart is supposed to harden. In fact, I think that I’m on medication that prevents that sort of thing. It would have been nice if someone gave me a little more time to not care when my daughter is in pain before jabbing needles into her though. Like, when I’m 80…and comatose would have been preferable.

I knew today would be rough. Two of my friends had warned me. One told me to be a man and stay in the room. I thought that was a ridiculous statement until I got there. The other wisely stated to not be the one holding her as she got stuck so she didn’t associate me with pain. I figured if the nurse was going to stick her, she could hold her too.

So I’m wondering why I found myself having to hold her arms down as the nurse pinned her legs. K-Mad knew something was amiss, but barely had time to register her displeasure before the real fun began. Let’s just say that I have never heard her do that…sound before. She looked at me as if to say “You wait until I’m 13”. I looked at the nurse as if to say “I’m giving her to you when she turns 13”. I also looked to my wife for some sort of emotional support. She was near tears though and looking at me as if to say “Now she’ll hate you when she’s 13”. Seriously, she’s the female in the relationship, she’s supposed to be the strong one.

All in all we survived. K-Mad held me accountable for her pain for all of 1 minute after her shots. Then she fell asleep. I mean, all that sound and fury and she didn’t even remember it 2 minutes later. Must be nice to have such a short-term memory. I’ve been thinking about it all day…