On Resolutions...

I’ve given this birthday thing a whole week and a half to seep in and fester. I’ve started to get used to the idea that my life has made an irrevocable change for the old. I think I gave you the impression that this birthday was especially hard for me. I don’t think I meant to be that dramatic, but let’s just say I did hang out with my homies and poor out a forty for my lost youth…yo.

That’s actually totally untrue. I spent that last fleeting moments of my youth on a subway platform for 3 hours as illegal immigrant after illegal immigrant packed the trains on their way home from the rally on the Mall that day. My birthday dinner came at 8:30. I was in bed by 9:30. Good grief, I am old.

Last year, which was supposedly the pivotal year when I turned 30, I did not have this crisis of age. I was working under the principle that 30 did not constitute me actually be in my 30’s. You know, the same idea behind the year 2000 not actually being the new millennium….that 2001 was really the beginning. Well, I guess my personal new millennium has officially started. I am now no longer a youth. I have made my first foray into Middle Age. Nothing good can come of this. It’s not like The Middle Ages was some sort of high point for humanity. Except for jousting…that was just cool.

I guess it would be a bit premature to have a midlife crisis in my first year of middle age. I barely even qualify at this point. Still, I feel like I should resolve to do something. That is, I should come up with some resolutions for my next year. I was a little busy this year around New Years. Unalterable life changes were about to pop out of my wife’s abdomen, so my customary intentional refusal to make New Year’s resolutions went untended. I merely forgot to not think about them this year. But now, with oldness creeping in…I guess it is time to actually come up with a plan…or maybe just some goals…

…It’s time I made a contract with myself to actually get something done this year. It’s time to come up with some parameters. So without further ado, I give you my Year 31 Resolutions, Goals and Parameters.

RESOLVED:

Beeley IV resolves to make certain and epic life changes on this his 31st year on Earth, location USA, further location Virginia, Northern. The writer of this blog promises, under threat of public derision, familial nagging and spousal guilt to complete these resolutions by April 10, 2007.

1) To take any and all medication that will reduce cholesterol from astronomically high numbers down to something more…attuned with acceptable medical parameters.
2) To keep in touch with Grandfather.
3) To continue to ignore Aunts.
4) To achieve status as U.S. Government employee.
5) To continue “higher education” through the Defense Acquisition University.
6) To rejoin the under 200lbs club. In other words, to lose three pounds.
7) To write first children’s book. To shoehorn friend into illustrating it.
8) To not drink a soft drink. Chik-fil-A sweet iced tea is totally on limits, however.
9) To be more sociable, less of a homebody and, generally, to see the outside world from time to time.
10) To go to the gym atleast once a week.

11) To update the blog more than once a week.

Yea verily, woe unto the Beeley who does not do these things within the next year. A plague desendeth upon his abode and upon his household. So sayeth the blog, so leteth it be done.