On Regularity...
I figured I’d let the furor of the On Family Ties…post subside before my next installment of these Odes. I like to think that the point I was trying to make was clearly proven by the insanity the ensued in the comments section. Needless to say, although my allusions to “red clay shores” was a fairly obvious jest about the dominant topography of South Carolina, I was truly delighted to get a lesson on the real soil composition of the state from my aunt. I feel both enlightened and tearfully bored at the same time…
And seriously, what’s with everyone trying to claim that they are the actual black sheep of the family? I have reviewed your petitions for my title, but I find them…lacking. Actually, I find them another failed attempt to be like me. Although, as my Dad pointed out, driving Chevy Impalas cannot make the Patriarch happy. Still, I feel pretty confident in my delinquency…
And with that, I move on…
I’ve really been slipping here lately. I want you to know that I have actually been unfaithful to you…although I wouldn’t necessary call it infidelity. I’ve just found other things to do with my time rather than to post Odes lately. For that I apologize. So here is the deal. I know that I’m in the virtual doghouse with you. I endeavor to become the man that you always hoped I’d be…a daily Ode writer. So for the rest of this week, you can expect my missives to be…regular…bran muffin regular if you get my meaning…
You should know that I will be out of town this Friday. Leave it to me to start cheating on the rules I made already. It cannot be helped. I have a date with my extended family this weekend in SC. Needless to say, I’m bringing all my wits with me…and it will be on.
And seriously, what’s with everyone trying to claim that they are the actual black sheep of the family? I have reviewed your petitions for my title, but I find them…lacking. Actually, I find them another failed attempt to be like me. Although, as my Dad pointed out, driving Chevy Impalas cannot make the Patriarch happy. Still, I feel pretty confident in my delinquency…
And with that, I move on…
I’ve really been slipping here lately. I want you to know that I have actually been unfaithful to you…although I wouldn’t necessary call it infidelity. I’ve just found other things to do with my time rather than to post Odes lately. For that I apologize. So here is the deal. I know that I’m in the virtual doghouse with you. I endeavor to become the man that you always hoped I’d be…a daily Ode writer. So for the rest of this week, you can expect my missives to be…regular…bran muffin regular if you get my meaning…
You should know that I will be out of town this Friday. Leave it to me to start cheating on the rules I made already. It cannot be helped. I have a date with my extended family this weekend in SC. Needless to say, I’m bringing all my wits with me…and it will be on.
posted by Beeley at 10:43 AM
8 Comments:
Beeley, Beeley, Beeley...We'll be waiting for you. Oh, and you'll know we're there when you seen the Chevy Equinox parked in the yard....or will it be the Subaru Outback?? Oh, and then the Impala and Jeep Liberty belonging to the younglings...an entire branch of the great family down the tubes. Poor Patriarch. So betrayed by his own blood. We'll eat in the kitchen. ha. Looking forward to the next few days of Odes.
Well, I guess the Plowden's will still roll up in Ford's. The Pretender's can come in whatever car suits them...
Ha,ha,ha,ha. All I can say is, the Patriarch hasn't bucked "Seeing the USA in a Chevrolet" . TIMES they are a changin', Beeley Man.
Love you.
Dude...don't forget you are talking to the rest of the world. Never, ever, ever say to the rest of the world that you "have a date with your extended family in SC".
They will take you literally.
That said, I'll see you this weekend. And don't even attempt to "close the gap" with me, you wierdo.
I'm not even sure what you mean Martha. You are talking some sort of Chevy language that doesn't compute.
And Scotty, I meant it literally *wink*.
Looks like the Patriarch may need to do some counseling this weekend!!
If the Patriarch is currently driving a Chevy, I'll lose it. I mean, postal style. It looks like my taking over the reins of the family cannot come soon enough.
"Taking over the reins"...
Sounds like blog material to me.
Of course, if it is the reins you want, you better get in line. As I see it, Williams got the helm, and you're in foreign territory. In fact, your failure to be "in country" and have proper citizenship pretty much cancels your application. Michael even has a better shot (he's gonna smack me for that one).
Look, I'll make it easy for you. William can have the title, but I'll take the job.
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