On Assembly Required...
Know thyself. I’m not sure who said that, but since they used “thyself” they have to be someone old…perhaps even ancient and of Greek persuasion. I have found this fledgling blogging experience interesting in that it has taught me a few things about myself; it has made me more introspective. In case you are wondering, no, I’m not typing this with a straight face. Introspection is not something I enjoy doing. There is just way too much going on in there that I think I’ll let my conscience and soul have some privacy thank you.
One thing I do know though, I do not enjoy assembling stuff. It is not that I’m bad at it so much as that I’m…okay, so it is that I’m bad at it. In the end, I get the thing assembled, it just takes about twice as long as it should have, and usually requires that I undo a portion of what I’ve already assembled. Diagrams and instruction manuals are not what I call intriguing, and most of the time I can’t be bothered until disaster has struck.
Let me give you a little hint. If you suffer (or thrive as I like to think) from this condition, do not get pregnant…or in my case, get someone else pregnant. Doing so firmly enters you into the world of “Assembly Required”, where everything requires some sort of engineering degree. I’m a political science major for goodness sake, we don’t know how to do anything… and that is by design.
To compound things, my wife is just about on the opposite side of the spectrum. We bought an outdoor grill two summers ago that required assembly, much to my dismay. We bought it on a Sunday and I agreed to put it together the following Monday evening. My wife, who was home for the summer break and cannot stand things standing around unassembled, took it upon herself to build the grill on her own. I returned home to find a fully assembled grill. Now, do you think that I was angry that my wife for this obvious attack on my manhood (grills are, after all, the domain of the man)? Are you kidding? That was like Christmas in July to me.
Unfortunately, my wife is currently Kaleigh impaired. I looked around the house for the B team to come in and get these things assembled. To my horror I discovered that I am the B team…or at the very least, I’m all we have. So last night I diligently sat down to assemble the bassinette that Kaleigh will sleep in for about 1 month of her life. I’ll skip to the end and say that we now have an assembled bassinette despite the existence of many bolts, screws and other assorted pieces…and much swearing. It’s not like I was totally alone. My wife did read me the instruction manual step by step and was very helpful in pointing out what needed to go where….and that is all I’m going to say about that.
There is a crib in my future that I will attempt to put off for as long as possible. I figure that means I’ll be assembling that tomorrow night.
One thing I do know though, I do not enjoy assembling stuff. It is not that I’m bad at it so much as that I’m…okay, so it is that I’m bad at it. In the end, I get the thing assembled, it just takes about twice as long as it should have, and usually requires that I undo a portion of what I’ve already assembled. Diagrams and instruction manuals are not what I call intriguing, and most of the time I can’t be bothered until disaster has struck.
Let me give you a little hint. If you suffer (or thrive as I like to think) from this condition, do not get pregnant…or in my case, get someone else pregnant. Doing so firmly enters you into the world of “Assembly Required”, where everything requires some sort of engineering degree. I’m a political science major for goodness sake, we don’t know how to do anything… and that is by design.
To compound things, my wife is just about on the opposite side of the spectrum. We bought an outdoor grill two summers ago that required assembly, much to my dismay. We bought it on a Sunday and I agreed to put it together the following Monday evening. My wife, who was home for the summer break and cannot stand things standing around unassembled, took it upon herself to build the grill on her own. I returned home to find a fully assembled grill. Now, do you think that I was angry that my wife for this obvious attack on my manhood (grills are, after all, the domain of the man)? Are you kidding? That was like Christmas in July to me.
Unfortunately, my wife is currently Kaleigh impaired. I looked around the house for the B team to come in and get these things assembled. To my horror I discovered that I am the B team…or at the very least, I’m all we have. So last night I diligently sat down to assemble the bassinette that Kaleigh will sleep in for about 1 month of her life. I’ll skip to the end and say that we now have an assembled bassinette despite the existence of many bolts, screws and other assorted pieces…and much swearing. It’s not like I was totally alone. My wife did read me the instruction manual step by step and was very helpful in pointing out what needed to go where….and that is all I’m going to say about that.
There is a crib in my future that I will attempt to put off for as long as possible. I figure that means I’ll be assembling that tomorrow night.
posted by Beeley at 1:03 PM
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