On Last Rites...
There are few things that are able to raise my stress level like planning. It's not that I hate the word, it's more that I hate the thought of the word. There are certainly other words I hate worse like plague, genocide and Blue Badgers. The use of the word planning implies that you have something pending, or even impending, that has to be done...and usually during a time period you wanted to do something else. Thus, the most stressful time for me each year is when my wife takes down the calendar and proceeds to inform me of our engagements each weekend for then next few months. Usually the process is made worse when coupled with another word that I loathe...travel. This event happens twice yearly, once around the beginning of summer and once before the holiday season.
This holiday season is a special kind of trauma. Poor family planning has conspired to make this holiday season epic. The first example: My in-laws, for some unknown reason, thought it would be a good idea to have my wife be born around and sometimes even on Thanksgiving Day. Obviously, this is an annual stress inducer for me, but one I agreed to during the binding marriage contract. I also happen to like my wife's existence, but it's timing I am not thankful for...which is ironic really. Jumping on my stress dog-pile is the fact that this birthday is a milestone event....30 years on planet earth, and my wife recently reminded me that she's "really into birthdays". This is true, she has elaborately and creatively planned my birthdays. I'd like to point out though that my parents were courteous enough to have me born in April, a month of no distinction.
Example two is the red circle currently around January 9 (and subject to change) heralding the birth of our first born. Not surprising, although admittedly a little unnerving, is the white wasteland of nothingness on the calendar after that date. It's the days preceding then that have me tightening the sphincter. There are so many things crammed into each day, particularly the weekends, that it looks like someone has copied entire books of the Bible onto our calendar. So, in other words, I've followed my in-laws example...
Thank goodness that after our child comes things should start to calm down....right?
This holiday season is a special kind of trauma. Poor family planning has conspired to make this holiday season epic. The first example: My in-laws, for some unknown reason, thought it would be a good idea to have my wife be born around and sometimes even on Thanksgiving Day. Obviously, this is an annual stress inducer for me, but one I agreed to during the binding marriage contract. I also happen to like my wife's existence, but it's timing I am not thankful for...which is ironic really. Jumping on my stress dog-pile is the fact that this birthday is a milestone event....30 years on planet earth, and my wife recently reminded me that she's "really into birthdays". This is true, she has elaborately and creatively planned my birthdays. I'd like to point out though that my parents were courteous enough to have me born in April, a month of no distinction.
Example two is the red circle currently around January 9 (and subject to change) heralding the birth of our first born. Not surprising, although admittedly a little unnerving, is the white wasteland of nothingness on the calendar after that date. It's the days preceding then that have me tightening the sphincter. There are so many things crammed into each day, particularly the weekends, that it looks like someone has copied entire books of the Bible onto our calendar. So, in other words, I've followed my in-laws example...
Thank goodness that after our child comes things should start to calm down....right?
posted by Beeley at 3:09 PM
4 Comments:
planning? there are people who are planning...for goodness sake i didnt think people realy did that...i was sure it was like books...millions of books get sold but do that many people realy read???? i dont think so. and thats what i think of planning...everyone says they planed this and that .....but i thinks its all bull...imho
not even a mention of fantasy this week. what a surprise!
although i do know that losing is probably tough to mention and it wasnt against those silly badgers.
The problem is not that you must plan, it is that you do not preemptively plan. Your ill-timed wife decides to plan event at an poorly chosen time, namely before you plan more attractive events.
If you were thinking properly, this whole January 9th nonsense would be happening right now, so that you kill 2 bir(d/thday)s with one stones. It would also conveniently open up a spot in the first weekend of February.
The trick is to plan out local events for yourself and wife well in advance. That way no family trips can be planned afterwards. The women we know have a really hard time hurting each others feelings and the devastation that would occur when breaking dinner plans ensures a travel free Friday and Sunday if you plan appropriately.
Speaking of which, how about dinner together on May 17th?
No, there will be no mention of fantasy football this week. As you'll note from the post, I am already stressed out enough!
Silly badger does make some good points though, which is unusual for him. I especially like the idea to open up the weekend in February. That's just genius.
I'd also like to not that the first comment to this post was from someone totally outside my friend structure in real life, and is not a spam bot. Thus, I have officially "arrived".
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