On Commitment...
Ah, Valentine’s Day. I’ve started, deleted and restarted this post a dozen times this morning. Thankfully, it’s a slow morning… I first started out my blogging on this subject with cynicism and sarcasm for what is, essentially, a holiday revolving around card and flower companies. I know you'll be shocked that I was thinking about being sarcastic... Then I was going to go the route of humor that detailed the best and worst of my gift giving on this “holiday”. I decided that those stories are best left...within the sanctity of my marriage...
Nothing seemed to flow, so I just ditched it. Why do I even need to produce a V-Day post anyway? It’s not like you come here for advice on love and relationships. If you do, seriously…stop. And seek psychiatric help…
Later I was reading a blog entry from the Pastor at the church my wife and I attend. He had an entry regarding “commitment” where he was basically lamenting the skewed priorities we have in life. For example, being more committed to our hobbies and leisure than to relationships with one another. Basically, and especially in the highly driven DC area, we have no problem with commitment…to things we deem important. Those “things” we commit ourselves to are the problem though. Much of his message had to do with other “things” being more important than our faith, which you’d expect a pastor to say. But one thing he did say that really caught my eye was “…people are committed to work, but not wedlock…”
That gave me pause…and my blog entry for today. Now, just about anyone who knows me well will laugh along with me at the thought of being committed to work. I mean, I’d have to actually experience this thing you call work to be committed to it… Don’t get me wrong; I try to produce a fine product when it finally finds its way across my desk. I do “know my stuff” in the particular field I’m in. I’ve had some accolades thrown my way. My bosses are more than satisfied with me as far as my performance evaluations state. But committed to Air Force budgeting…please.
Frankly, one of the things I respect the least about myself is that I don’t commit to much of anything. I played all sorts of sports growing up, but I never practiced or thought much about them outside of the season. I certainly didn’t try and make myself some sort of standout. I showed a lot of aptitude for music when I was in the band…but the thought of committing to anything regarding music was laughable and terrifying. I did okay with high school grades, but college was an exercise in mediocrity, mostly because I didn’t care…something I am paying for now.
In other words, when I look back at my life…or even where I am now, there are a lot of things I know I could have been better at if I had been committed to being so…
But one thing that I’ve done right…the one thing that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m excellent at…is showing my wife how much I love her through my absolute and non-negotiable commitment to our marriage. Actually, I did two things right. I married a woman that feels the same way about our marriage. Simply put, infidelity or even just growing apart until we split due to ‘irreconcilable differences” is just not an option. Heck, I got married under the pretense that we had unreconcilable differences. I thought it added flava' to the marriage.
I’m not some sort of saint. I’m not going to try and sell you on the idea that I’m somehow hardwired for fidelity. Any honest male will tell you that we don’t suddenly become blind to other females that surround us on a daily basis. Commitment implies a conscious decision, and that is very much what it is. I’ve decided that the grass is not greener on the other side. Frankly, I consider myself to be standing in a freaking field of lush greenness. Seriously, someone needs to call a freaking lawn service over here.
Nothing seemed to flow, so I just ditched it. Why do I even need to produce a V-Day post anyway? It’s not like you come here for advice on love and relationships. If you do, seriously…stop. And seek psychiatric help…
Later I was reading a blog entry from the Pastor at the church my wife and I attend. He had an entry regarding “commitment” where he was basically lamenting the skewed priorities we have in life. For example, being more committed to our hobbies and leisure than to relationships with one another. Basically, and especially in the highly driven DC area, we have no problem with commitment…to things we deem important. Those “things” we commit ourselves to are the problem though. Much of his message had to do with other “things” being more important than our faith, which you’d expect a pastor to say. But one thing he did say that really caught my eye was “…people are committed to work, but not wedlock…”
That gave me pause…and my blog entry for today. Now, just about anyone who knows me well will laugh along with me at the thought of being committed to work. I mean, I’d have to actually experience this thing you call work to be committed to it… Don’t get me wrong; I try to produce a fine product when it finally finds its way across my desk. I do “know my stuff” in the particular field I’m in. I’ve had some accolades thrown my way. My bosses are more than satisfied with me as far as my performance evaluations state. But committed to Air Force budgeting…please.
Frankly, one of the things I respect the least about myself is that I don’t commit to much of anything. I played all sorts of sports growing up, but I never practiced or thought much about them outside of the season. I certainly didn’t try and make myself some sort of standout. I showed a lot of aptitude for music when I was in the band…but the thought of committing to anything regarding music was laughable and terrifying. I did okay with high school grades, but college was an exercise in mediocrity, mostly because I didn’t care…something I am paying for now.
In other words, when I look back at my life…or even where I am now, there are a lot of things I know I could have been better at if I had been committed to being so…
But one thing that I’ve done right…the one thing that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m excellent at…is showing my wife how much I love her through my absolute and non-negotiable commitment to our marriage. Actually, I did two things right. I married a woman that feels the same way about our marriage. Simply put, infidelity or even just growing apart until we split due to ‘irreconcilable differences” is just not an option. Heck, I got married under the pretense that we had unreconcilable differences. I thought it added flava' to the marriage.
I’m not some sort of saint. I’m not going to try and sell you on the idea that I’m somehow hardwired for fidelity. Any honest male will tell you that we don’t suddenly become blind to other females that surround us on a daily basis. Commitment implies a conscious decision, and that is very much what it is. I’ve decided that the grass is not greener on the other side. Frankly, I consider myself to be standing in a freaking field of lush greenness. Seriously, someone needs to call a freaking lawn service over here.
posted by Beeley at 3:51 PM
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