On Princesses...
…and while we are on the subject of princesses, so rudely thrust upon me by my so called “friend”, I’ve got a few things to get off my chest. I don’t want to suggest that you are about to hear me rant, but I will just state for the record that there is foam in my mouth. I would never admit to losing sleep over this issue, but Starbucks is currently an associate of mine with some standing.
I’m resigned to my fate as a father of a girl. (Actually, truth be told, I’m ecstatic, but I have to keep my game face on for this rant so just act like you aren’t…aware). I know that pink will be in for a while. There will be lacy things, frills and accessories that I’ve never worn, but have probably bought for the fairer sex at some point. And I know that unicorns, fairy tales, princesses and pandas will invade my inner sanctum like a prostitute in the Vatican, but I think that I can deal with all that. I can even deal with sitting and watching some silly Sally Macguire, or whatever the heck her name is, on the Disney channel.
However, something started eating at me as we received articles of clothing with some version of “I’m a princess” on them for Kaleigh. Now, I have zero problems with a baby or little girl wearing something of a princess advertisement. That is an acceptable age where everything is a fairly tale and full of wonder anyway. But if the little princess onesy gets replace at age 13 for a mid-rif shirt with “Princess” written in material that shines or glitters, that’s when Dad is going to invade her little kingdom…and I’ll be coming with minions…
You see, part of my problem…the problem I had at the sonogram when they stuck the camera up her hoo-ha and notice a distinct absence of wang…is that I never saw little baby Kaleigh, or even elementary school Kaliegh in my mind’s eye. No, I saw high school Kaleigh… I saw make-up, cell-phones and boyfriends. And you’ll have to forgive me, but I started building my defenses right then and there. As I stated elsewhere, policies started to form.
One policy is that my little girl will not grow up to be some women-princess hybrid that you see walking around these days. Princesses, after about 10 years old, does not equate to cute. It equates to @#$%^. I don’t think I need to spell @#$%^ for you do I? And yeah, sure, maybe it is that I’m the husband of an 8th grade teacher (more on that tomorrow…oooh, some foreshadowing), but I’ve heard one too many stories of the “princess syndrome” stalking the halls of our education system. To be sure, the boys have there own…issues, but since I am not having a son, they are excused from this rant. Be assured that my policy on boys would be much shorter and would involve Doc Martens, his posterior and no Vaseline.
I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to achieve this perfect young lady that I have envisioned. I will say that she has a good mother to help in the guidance process. I will also say that being poor should help alleviate some of the spoilage. It’s amazing what not having money can do. Regardless though, I think that not getting wrapped around her finger from the beginning is they way to go…
…if that’s the case, I’m already doomed…
I’m resigned to my fate as a father of a girl. (Actually, truth be told, I’m ecstatic, but I have to keep my game face on for this rant so just act like you aren’t…aware). I know that pink will be in for a while. There will be lacy things, frills and accessories that I’ve never worn, but have probably bought for the fairer sex at some point. And I know that unicorns, fairy tales, princesses and pandas will invade my inner sanctum like a prostitute in the Vatican, but I think that I can deal with all that. I can even deal with sitting and watching some silly Sally Macguire, or whatever the heck her name is, on the Disney channel.
However, something started eating at me as we received articles of clothing with some version of “I’m a princess” on them for Kaleigh. Now, I have zero problems with a baby or little girl wearing something of a princess advertisement. That is an acceptable age where everything is a fairly tale and full of wonder anyway. But if the little princess onesy gets replace at age 13 for a mid-rif shirt with “Princess” written in material that shines or glitters, that’s when Dad is going to invade her little kingdom…and I’ll be coming with minions…
You see, part of my problem…the problem I had at the sonogram when they stuck the camera up her hoo-ha and notice a distinct absence of wang…is that I never saw little baby Kaleigh, or even elementary school Kaliegh in my mind’s eye. No, I saw high school Kaleigh… I saw make-up, cell-phones and boyfriends. And you’ll have to forgive me, but I started building my defenses right then and there. As I stated elsewhere, policies started to form.
One policy is that my little girl will not grow up to be some women-princess hybrid that you see walking around these days. Princesses, after about 10 years old, does not equate to cute. It equates to @#$%^. I don’t think I need to spell @#$%^ for you do I? And yeah, sure, maybe it is that I’m the husband of an 8th grade teacher (more on that tomorrow…oooh, some foreshadowing), but I’ve heard one too many stories of the “princess syndrome” stalking the halls of our education system. To be sure, the boys have there own…issues, but since I am not having a son, they are excused from this rant. Be assured that my policy on boys would be much shorter and would involve Doc Martens, his posterior and no Vaseline.
I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to achieve this perfect young lady that I have envisioned. I will say that she has a good mother to help in the guidance process. I will also say that being poor should help alleviate some of the spoilage. It’s amazing what not having money can do. Regardless though, I think that not getting wrapped around her finger from the beginning is they way to go…
…if that’s the case, I’m already doomed…
posted by Beeley at 1:48 PM
3 Comments:
We're in this battle together! Course, I too am already hopelessly wrapped around my daughter's finger...
I got your back if you got mine?!
I say more BF2 for everyone!
I've got the flu so all I'm doing for the next few days is sleeping, reading, and playing BF2. Call me if you want to stoke up a game.
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