On Bragging Rights...
The Pentagon Five Sides, my insanely inconsistent fantasy football team, finally put back-to-back wins together for the first time this season. That it happened against the highest scoring offense in the league, the intimidatingly named tilley194 (the intimidation is in the 194 you see…), and on a week that tilley194 running back LeDainian Tomlinson scored a whopping 32.42 points, makes it all the more savory. I think it is due to superior coaching, but many folks consider it just dumb luck. The late game heroics of Five Side kicker Adam Vinatieri secured the win with three PATs to eek out the 1.33 point win.
It is just in time to, because in week 10 the Five Sides face off against our mortal enemies, the Blue Badgers. I don’t want to start a word war, one where Blue Badger players post my comments on a locker room wall to motivate them, but the bad blood between the Five Sides and Blue Badgers is well documented…it’s historical and entirely the fault of the Blue Badgers.
My feud with Coach Tilley (not to be confused with Coach Little Tilley of the aforementioned tilley194’s) began with a shared bathroom in our college apartment and was exacerbated by the repeated playing of U2 and “Brown Eyed Girl” at random intervals for over three years. That Coach Tilley finally won the Great Bathroom Cold War because a girlfriend of mine was coming to visit only made matters worse.
But then, of course, came the ultimate backstab when Coach Tilley dropped the Shakespeare class that we shared. Can someone tell me what kind of a world we live in when a man is allowed to commit Shakespeare adultery on another man? I think you see where I’m coming from…it’s just not done in civilized societies. It took a long time for my heart to mend after that one…
By the time the great No Electricity, Full Fridge/Freezer Debacle occurred, the rift was forever cemented. Five Side QB Donovan McNabb stated that “Despite coach benching me the past two weeks for Mark Brunell, I still want to win this one for him against those Blue Bastards”.
Even the pathetically ineffective RB Warrick Dunn stated “Despite my complete inability to find the end zone most of the season, I’ll be looking to finally do something like score this week rather than rack up useless yardage and then let someone else run it in at the 1 yard line…”.
I don’t want to say that I’ve had this week circled since the season began, but I’ve had this week circled since the season began. Coach Tilley, you need only go down into your basement and look at the sad, defeated eyes of Coach Little Tilley to see your future. I’m coming for you and all Five Sides will be with me you hear…ALL FIVE SIDES!!!
It is just in time to, because in week 10 the Five Sides face off against our mortal enemies, the Blue Badgers. I don’t want to start a word war, one where Blue Badger players post my comments on a locker room wall to motivate them, but the bad blood between the Five Sides and Blue Badgers is well documented…it’s historical and entirely the fault of the Blue Badgers.
My feud with Coach Tilley (not to be confused with Coach Little Tilley of the aforementioned tilley194’s) began with a shared bathroom in our college apartment and was exacerbated by the repeated playing of U2 and “Brown Eyed Girl” at random intervals for over three years. That Coach Tilley finally won the Great Bathroom Cold War because a girlfriend of mine was coming to visit only made matters worse.
But then, of course, came the ultimate backstab when Coach Tilley dropped the Shakespeare class that we shared. Can someone tell me what kind of a world we live in when a man is allowed to commit Shakespeare adultery on another man? I think you see where I’m coming from…it’s just not done in civilized societies. It took a long time for my heart to mend after that one…
By the time the great No Electricity, Full Fridge/Freezer Debacle occurred, the rift was forever cemented. Five Side QB Donovan McNabb stated that “Despite coach benching me the past two weeks for Mark Brunell, I still want to win this one for him against those Blue Bastards”.
Even the pathetically ineffective RB Warrick Dunn stated “Despite my complete inability to find the end zone most of the season, I’ll be looking to finally do something like score this week rather than rack up useless yardage and then let someone else run it in at the 1 yard line…”.
I don’t want to say that I’ve had this week circled since the season began, but I’ve had this week circled since the season began. Coach Tilley, you need only go down into your basement and look at the sad, defeated eyes of Coach Little Tilley to see your future. I’m coming for you and all Five Sides will be with me you hear…ALL FIVE SIDES!!!
posted by Beeley at 1:13 PM
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Any last words, or do the last several taste delicious enough?
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